We got a Bunny...its name is Buttons

Hermanas Por Vida

With the blessing of social networking sites like Facebook I came across this very old picture.
I'm in the middle front with the LIGHT blue dress...ulgh!
This was in 2003ish I think.
Right before I got pregnant with my daughter...and life began.

This is a picture of the BEAUTIFUL women of Sigma Lambda Gamma Sorority Inc.

A few of these women were my best friends in the whole world at this time in my life.
All that this organization stands on...is all that I was at this time in awe of.

Its about REPPIN nothing less than the best...and I can dig that :)
I am very grateful to have had this experience in my early years...

Being apart of this sisterhood really taught me alot.

ALOT OF WHAT I CARRY WITH ME STILL TODAY.

This night, was a sorority formal.
My date was of course none other than Mr. Alvarado.
We'd known eachother just a few weeks, and even though I love being around the sisterhood....

I always feel like I can't do it without him by my side.

I got an invite to attend the Sorority 10 year celebration/reunion the other day...

I plan on not attending.

I'd rather keep the GOOD TIMES in a safe place

and not have to face what I have/have not become...lol
I like for things to stay neatly filed away in the past.
I don't consider myself even on the same plane as these women.
I did it...its done...Cute Pic though.
heehee

because I'll never sleep again

My first love was dumb ol boy some sort of waking nightmare.
He wore his pants just under his butt...
He was my first lesson in gang writings, hip hop...and ooofff the lowriders.
He went away after grabbing me by the neck and dragging me down
a vacant hallway after hours at Seguin High School.
He went away chasing broads in Air Jordans and mini skirts....
Lord knows I'd never allow myself to adapt to that look.

My Second love was a stellar dream.
He was a big teddy bear on the football team...
He was my first lesson about the night sky,
How right here on earth we could float above it all...and kiss the stars
He was a gentleman in every way so I cried so hard when he left for college one day.
Arizona took him from me, and we'd never be the same...
Even when he drove to Huntsville to ask me back, we were still tunneling the drain.
watching him smile got harder and walking away was so easy....
his vices got the best of him and I'm just too damn cute to change over to sleazy.

The last love to end all love for me
is a soft spoken intensive thinking hard working..PROUD hispanic man.
I'd never known comfort before this man held me in his sleep...
The world just turns and turns and turns...and with a deep exhale
and the smell of his skin I could just sleep.
You see he wakes before the sun and would kiss my face to fall back into my slumber...
and then that lazy sun would brighten my day...while he worked for us, his family.
This man decided almost a decade ago that I am just not worthy of his love....
I thought that I could show him...and love enough for for the both of us
He loves the night...and chases the neon lights with a cold one in his hand.
I've chased it right along with him for the better part of my twenties now...
I think that's just how the story goes...
Because as hard as its been to let him go I know I'll never sleep again.

Cardenas

has never been apart of my title
yeah I see my crazy cousin Dan at the bar every now and then...
and My Great Aunt Belia is the most important person in my life
but I still have never felt like Cardenas was describing me.

I went to school in the same grade as my cousin Nadia
and no one knew we were even related...
My most favorite uncle Reyes even lived with us when I was a teenager
but I still never felt the Cardenas connection...no matter how its surrounded me.

I remember being a little tiny girl...
celebrating Easter with cousins, aunts, uncles, all of my mother's family
all with the last name and strong Cardenas features...
feeling the most loved, no care in the world, just being a kid in the land where cascarones ran rampant.

I never knew the direct line who is my grandfather Agapito Cardenas...
I remember wishing I did. I remember wondering why I have all of this family
without him.

No one ever spoke of him, as a brother, father, no mention at all
I reached a point in my life where I accepted his absence the way my mother was forced to.
I realized that my pressing questions were too much a nuisance...

With the birth of my daughter I've grown more curious about my family.
Over the past few years I've asked more questions of my loved ones....
Just hoping to get a story...anything. I'm no longer satified with knowing nothing.

A few months ago we were told that Agapito may be coming back to Texas.
I couldn't have thought it better news...I think all of my family was happy to hear....
that maybe he'd move back and we'd be able to get to know who this mysterious
part of our bloodline really was.

And Agapito Cardenas passed away. I don't have any memories other than the two times we briefly met...or the times he called to speak to my mother when I was younger.
I could write a book about the mystery that surrounds this man for me.
Hearing of his passing, all I could do was think of all of my memories with all of my family....
that he was absent in...I am grateful and feel so privileged to be apart of
this Cardenas family, you have no idea how vivid this family's character really is....

So sitting down today, at a table with my Mother, two uncles, Julian and Val...
along with my Great Aunt, Belia I was nominated to write Agapito Cardenas' Obituary.
I never felt so apart of this family....being sure I include all of my cousins....
worrying about this wording and listening in on their plans for a memorial service.
I love getting to conversate with my uncles, all three of them...
I take any chance can get,
and today was no different...Thank You Agapito Cardenas

far far away to home...you just cant get any closer than family :)

update in pictures

Well, Evelyn and I have both gotten really into spa treatment at home. Her mainly for relaxation...she's into me doing her nails, So we've bee experimenting with nail art. I've been trying to take care of my skin...daily cleansing...trying to stop the evidence of aging on this stinkin face of mine. So anyway I thought this was so funny.

She's still the same lil weirdo...We've been starting to argue a little more. She's beginning to butt heads with me which is something that's very new to the both of us, but it's alright...we love eachother without end. This picture is of her Butterfly Net on her head and yes, this is a koozie she's wearing as a glove. I love how she plays...she's so funny.

She's stretching out...she's lookin tall. It's been a great summer so far. This day I had put makeup on her and her on me. You do NOT want to see what I looked like :)


The feet below belong to my NEW Nephew Dylan. I love his little feet...he's in my mother's arms so I want to frame this picture someday. He's such a handsome boy.

I wanted a picture of me and Evelyn. We haven't taken studio pictures since 2008. We need to. It's VERY rare that we get to have a picture of the both of us because since I'm a single mommy, I always have to take the pictures myself. lol

I want to start taking more pictures again. I always get discouraged though. I think I suck.

This is at freedome fiesta in Seguin July 3rd 2010. She wanted to ride this over and over. She said she loves being dizzy, SO DO I !!!!

This Picture is from the Seguin Parade. I love my hometown...she will too.

We had matching shirts and she thought that was the coolest!! I suspect that there won't be too many more years that this would be on this side of cool with her. Taking advantage I had to get a Picture :)