Cardenas

has never been apart of my title
yeah I see my crazy cousin Dan at the bar every now and then...
and My Great Aunt Belia is the most important person in my life
but I still have never felt like Cardenas was describing me.

I went to school in the same grade as my cousin Nadia
and no one knew we were even related...
My most favorite uncle Reyes even lived with us when I was a teenager
but I still never felt the Cardenas connection...no matter how its surrounded me.

I remember being a little tiny girl...
celebrating Easter with cousins, aunts, uncles, all of my mother's family
all with the last name and strong Cardenas features...
feeling the most loved, no care in the world, just being a kid in the land where cascarones ran rampant.

I never knew the direct line who is my grandfather Agapito Cardenas...
I remember wishing I did. I remember wondering why I have all of this family
without him.

No one ever spoke of him, as a brother, father, no mention at all
I reached a point in my life where I accepted his absence the way my mother was forced to.
I realized that my pressing questions were too much a nuisance...

With the birth of my daughter I've grown more curious about my family.
Over the past few years I've asked more questions of my loved ones....
Just hoping to get a story...anything. I'm no longer satified with knowing nothing.

A few months ago we were told that Agapito may be coming back to Texas.
I couldn't have thought it better news...I think all of my family was happy to hear....
that maybe he'd move back and we'd be able to get to know who this mysterious
part of our bloodline really was.

And Agapito Cardenas passed away. I don't have any memories other than the two times we briefly met...or the times he called to speak to my mother when I was younger.
I could write a book about the mystery that surrounds this man for me.
Hearing of his passing, all I could do was think of all of my memories with all of my family....
that he was absent in...I am grateful and feel so privileged to be apart of
this Cardenas family, you have no idea how vivid this family's character really is....

So sitting down today, at a table with my Mother, two uncles, Julian and Val...
along with my Great Aunt, Belia I was nominated to write Agapito Cardenas' Obituary.
I never felt so apart of this family....being sure I include all of my cousins....
worrying about this wording and listening in on their plans for a memorial service.
I love getting to conversate with my uncles, all three of them...
I take any chance can get,
and today was no different...Thank You Agapito Cardenas

far far away to home...you just cant get any closer than family :)