Note to Self...Note to Daughter

My loyalty runs deep
I need for you to understand the importance of loyalty
to your family and friends.
In my life I have discovered what is important to me,
I need for you to find that...and stay loyal to it always.
There will be people in your life what claim loyalty to
your feelings, but be prepared for them to ALWAYS let you down.
That kind of hurt that comes from others is all within you.
Do not allow anyone to hurt you in that way....always brace yourself.
I am able to inspire other people's confidence
I need for you to grow up with the mentality that your acceptance
is all that matters. DO NOT ever allow others to outline who you are
or will become. Appreciate when others feel confident around you....this
will take you far. DON'T ever look to surround yourself with weak people.
I have never lived my life like this. Weak people can only make you weak.
I am known for my sharp tongue
I don't think that you should have a potty mouth, but I am able to defend
myself with words. I'd like you to act and speak with dignity and like a lady.
I need for you to be able to say how you feel and express who you are with words.
I can find fault in almost anything
This has served me well. Please hone this trait you get from me, to not just
push others away but to create your own standards and expectations of others.
I have also morphed this particular trait into building walls sky high....making it
hard for me to make new friends and have healthy romantic relationships. Find Yourself
and then find fault in others and things. I worked backwards :)
Emotionally I can be a cold cold person
I'm not exactly the most loving person you'll meet. I don't tolerate emotion in others
I tend to find warm compassionate people annoying. I see you different
than I am in that way. I would like you to be your own person and feel...be emotional
and helpful to others if that's who you become, but I don't want you to be naive. I need
for you to be aware of others taking advantage of you emotionally, and able to
reach inside and protect yourself when needed
and around others I can seem distant
I've never reached beyond myself for other people attention. I never want
you to think that in a social setting you have to have attention to feel whole. That's not
who you are, I can already tell, but I need for you to be around others....and know
who you are. If you seem distant, it shouldn't be because you feel out of place. You
have a place...you are the place. Feel distant around others because you don't need
their attention or acceptance.
I will be the first to admit that I am the
most selfish person I know
I can only hope when you are 18 and looking for yourself you are the most selfish person you know. Selfish means you know who you are and what can make you happy. Some people never find that. Trust yourself, don't live to regret. I 've always lived with the firm belief that I only have myself to depend on....My only hope is that when we talk about this in 12 years it will be more of a test review than never before seen lesson plan.