This Frozen Desert...

is time standing still on stage in front of my enemies
under a spotlight not being able to think
afraid to feel
without silence
talking talking talking it out
is no direction or need
for truth because
all frozen this desert heat
has no meaning or purpose
is me not being able to decide
if I'm cold or hot
of stone or fire in water
blinded by the steam I can't
decide or move forward
is me being able to see the beauty
in this pain and
enjoy my sudden awareness
in such sorrow and
facing this anger I am alive
more than I've ever been
I'm alive
is you watching time standing still
while I am on this stage in front of
you my enemy
under a spotlight looking so afraid
and empty
is you hearing me talking talking talking it out
because this frozen desert has weathered the meaning
in my soul and all I can offer is
babble about what I think happend
and what I think is true but
the hardening of my heart is the only truth
I can ever know
is you being able to see the beauty in my pain
and knowing that you wish you hadn't
set me on that stage in front of so much ill will
under that spotlight of shame and being frozen
once again unable to move or care or
make any difference once again I get no explaination
is me being an outer shell and host to this frozen desert
where I am constantly on display as a representative of
your triumph and shame.